Tag Archive: Coaching

Even Coaches Need Coaches

coaching a coach

If you’ve been reading our blogs for a while, or have noticed our recent “Whiteboard Pro-Tip Videos,” you know that we are HUGE fans of effective coaching conversations as a means of increasing employee engagement and building strong teams. (Read our article on “Being a Great Coach in the Office” which was published in the Huffington Post last year.)

Our workshops have helped scores of people improve their coaching skills, and our one-on-one coaching sessions have helped individuals figure out how to become “unstuck” with whatever roadblock is preventing them from getting where they want to go.

But what if you’re already a pretty good, even fantastic, coach? You get it, you’re good at it, you practice it, your team is highly engaged and successful, and in fact you’ve been training others to grow their own coaching skills.

Do you need a coach if you’re already a coach?

Just about any professional needs their own services from time to time, and we know that they can’t (or shouldn’t) treat themselves and expect great results. Think about it:

  • Doctors need to see other doctors for physicals and prescriptions.
  • Personal trainers have personal trainers to spot them when they lift weight, and push them when they get tired.
  • Physiotherapists see other physiotherapists to manipulate and treat musculoskeletal issues.
  • Lawyers hire other lawyers to represent them (except on TV, where they are VERY good at representing themselves).
  • Therapists get advice and counselling from other therapists.
  • Ministers, Priests, Rabbis, and Imams seek spiritual guidance from others.

And so it goes with coaching.

Even expert coaches need someone else to help them self-discover solutions to problems they are facing. Here are three possible scenarios in which it would be critical for a coach to get coaching from someone else:

  1. Edgar has been coaching for 15 years, and is known for his openness, strength, and amazing leadership style. He thought he had seen it all until one of his peers lashed out at him in a leadership meeting, embarrassing him and creating a stressful atmosphere. Edgar knows he has to talk to this person, and is trying to prepare his approach. He’s just not sure how to open the conversation and would like to bounce some ideas off someone.
  2. Natasha has to coach a young member of her team who is fresh out of college, eager, keen, smart, and… obnoxious. She’s pretty sure how she will handle it, and would love to role play the possible outcomes. After all, Natasha is a Baby Boomer, and needs to sound helpful and encouraging, not “old” and “out of date.”
  3. Salome is a senior leader with plenty of coaching experience who feels disengaged and even a little bored at work. She’s not sure what to do and would like some objective guidance.

 

coaching a coach 1

 

No matter how much experience we have, we can always use some coaching to help us out. And remember, coaching isn’t the same has having coffee with a friend (although that’s always helpful too!) Friends are encouraging and supportive listeners, and can often be biased towards a specific solution.

Coaches are also encouraging and supportive, and have NO bias. Therefore, the solution you come up with is 100% yours, and was probably hiding deep down inside your brain somewhere all along.

If you need a coach, check out our coaching services by clicking here, or email us at info@whiteboardconsulting.ca. We’d be glad to help you, and our 15-minute telephone strategy session is FREE! How can you go wrong? (You can’t.)

Until next time,

Ruth.

Advice vs. Coaching

puzzle

“Oh, I’d love a coach!” said Bob after chatting with Melissa at a cocktail party. “I’ve been looking for one for a few weeks, actually.”

“Cool,” replied Melissa. “What is it that’s triggered you to look for a coach? Something at home? At work?”

“There’s lots going on at work, and I have no idea what to do next,” Bob sighed. “I need someone to tell me what to do.”

Melissa takes a deep breath. She has no intention of telling anyone to do anything – she’s a coach, not an advisor.

Advice vs. Coaching

There are so many people in our lives who will happily tell us what to do. Friends, parents, siblings, co-workers – the list is endless. Some of these people have the experience and technical skills to give us highly valued and valuable advice, and yet it’s interesting – in the end, we follow our own advice.

There are remarkably fewer skilled people who know that you are your own best resource, and who have the ability to help you get out of your own way and find the pathway that resonates with you the most.

Henry Kimsey-House, co-founder of Coaches Training Institute and respected author, has a great way of describing the difference between coaching and advising. (Listen to his ten minute discussion by clicking here.)

Advisors, he says, stand in front of you and face you. You ask them their opinions and they give them to you, based on their experience and background.

Coaches, however, stand next to you, facing the same direction, and look to the horizon saying, “Where do you want to go?”

horizon

So what do I need then – a coach or an advisor?

  1. Do you need help sorting through highly technical issues that require specific areas of knowledge? –> you need an advisor
    • stocks or bonds
    • surgery or medication
    • corporation or partnership
    • skills required to move into a specific role (i.e. mentorship)
  2. Are you trying to decide between a few different options? –> you need a coach to help you pull out the answer that is already in your head, but is hiding behind the swirl of facts and choices and noise
    • take job 1 or job 2
    • quit a job or try a different approach
    • love it or list it (haha – HGTV reference)
  3. Are you trying to figure out what to do next? –> you need a coach to help you plot your course and consider barriers and enablers along the way
    • grow the business now or later, and what’s the first step
    • prepare for retirement
    • land a job you want
    • make a major shift in your life
    • cross something off your bucket list
  4. Are you frustrated in dealing with difficult people? –> you need a coach to help you understand your own styles before you can understand others

It is SO tempting to just have others tell us what to do. And guess what? Even when they tell us, we still have to make the final decision.

Trust an advisor when you need technical advice and information. Trust a coach when you need to sort through options. You’ll be so much more satisfied with the result.

Until next time,

Ruth.

Happy Birthday to Us!

bday

On March 28th Whiteboard turns 4 years old. 4 years! This is a big deal – according to Start Up Canada, only 70% of the more than 100,000 new small businesses that open each year actually last to year 2, and only 51% to year five. These are pretty daunting stats, and we are really thrilled to still be here, loving what we do.

What’s our secret?

Besides persistence and patience you mean? Well, the other day Nicole and I were talking about how our business has changed and grown in its short four-year existence. We started out as a company focused purely on process improvement consulting, determined to help businesses become more effective and efficient using our own methodology, The Whiteboard Way©.

We soon discovered that people didn’t just hold up their hands and say, “Oh pick us! We need process improvement!” No, in fact a lot of people don’t even know what the term means or why they should care about it. So we found ourselves trying to explain our business to people, most of whom nodded politely or stared like a deer in the headlights.

We found our work shifting to training and facilitation, knowing that what people REALLY need is a culture shift that will encourage innovation, inspire creativity, and allow people to try, fail, and try again. It is only by developing culture that organizations can attempt a massive (or moderate) change and hope to be successful. As the saying goes:

We started focusing on proving training on things that are most likely to help organizations be successful at implementing change. Things like:

  • Learning how (and when) to have rewarding conversations with people at work. Yes – conversations. It’s not as simple as you might think, and our coaching course helps people-managers build their skills in this area. It’s probably our most popular course.
  • Understanding the difference between leading and managing, and why that’s important in building an effective team.
  • Becoming self-aware and realizing how that can lead to truly effective communication.
  • Knowing how to set goals and understanding why measurements are important (hint: people like to know when they’re winning).
  • Helping teams understand the flow of work through an organization, and how gaps in process can cause frustration and inefficiency.

So now we don’t do process improvement? We teach?

Uh, no.

Don’t misunderstand me. We “do” process improvement. It happens to be one of the most amazing tools there is to help organizations improve business results. It’s just not the only tool.

We now describe ourselves as Change Management consultants who help uncover hidden opportunities to improve business results. And we do that by seeking to understand our clients, our course participants, our partners, and – always – ourselves.

  • Through our coaching program, we seek to understand you – the person – and help you get to the root of whatever barriers are in your way.
  • Through our process improvement work, we seek to understand the organization, and uncover hidden opportunities to improve business results.
  • Through our psychometric assessments (Myers Briggs Type Indicator) we help you seek to understand yourself and the people around you.
  • Through our speaking, training, and facilitation, we seek to understand our participants, and by so doing we ensure our workshops are dynamic, fun, relevant, and valuable.

And for our 5th year?

Not only have we added new services to our repertoire, but this year we are also excited to be exploring a new associate model which will allow us to expand the Whiteboard brand to other cities! This is going to be awesome, so stay tuned for more on that later in the year.

Thank you to all our clients, partners, and supporters who make it continually fun to do what we do. We couldn’t – and wouldn’t – do it without you!

Until next time,

Ruth.

 

3 Questions to ask your potential new boss to avoid a toxic workplace.

Why oh why did I take this job?

You spent days perfecting your resume.  Days finding the right salutation for your cover letter.  Weeks ruining your manicure fretting about the interview process.  And if you happen to work in the public sector, you’ve spent hours rehearsing your presentation assignment with anyone who will listen.

All that hard work, and the phone finally rings – “We’d like to offer you the job!” download

Fast forward 2 goodbye cake parties, 12 transition meetings, and 17 emails about how lucky you are to “get out of here”.  You’ve got your big girl/boy suit on and it is week 3 of your new job.

You said the biggest challenge was going to be what?

You thought you did the right thing! You asked the golden end-of-interview question:

“What will be the biggest challenge you foresee for the winning candidate in this new role?”

This is a great question.  But they didn’t tell you that the office is the perfect example of a toxic workplace! You are dissapointed, demotivated, and think you may have made the worst decision ever!

Don’t get me wrong,  “a challenge” from one individual to another has a great deal of variability. For one it might be subject matter expertise, for another it is senior management support. Managers looking for a team member aren’t going to say things like:

  • The culture is super toxic, have fun!
  • I’m a really great operational manger, but I suck at leadership (oh and I hate team meetings FYI).
  • Your team is the worst performing team in our entire company.
  • My boss is even worse than I am.

3 Questions to ask your potential new boss (BEFORE you say YES!)

You might feelimages awkward asking these questions.  I guarantee that this moment of mild awkwardness is FAR less painful than arriving at TWCC (Toxic Workplace Culture Central). Read more on the signs of a toxic workplace culture here.

  1. How would you describe the culture of the organization? This is a great open-ended question that’s pretty hard to hide behind. If you have an honest hiring manager, they will be clear about the challenges and opportunities.  Be ready with some probing questions to help you out in case you get some tight lipped answers (i.e. You say “Great”, tell me more? How would employees describe the culture? How would another team describe the culture?).  I would be delighted with answers like: our branch does a bi-annual team building event offsite, we have a running club, we have a lunchtime yoga session that more than half of the team participates in etc.
  2. Can you tell me about the history of the team that I’ll be working with? Ooh.  This question is more loaded than a baked potato. Here’s where you can find out things like how new (or how established) your team is.  Perhaps you do some diagnosis on their stage of team development, or how you might apply the situational leadership model.  You can start to understand how resilient the team might be to change (based on their recent history with change).
  3. What kinds of systems/processes are currently in place in the organization to support open and transparent communication and team building? What I would want to hear in this answer are things like: we have weekly 1:1 coaching sessions with our team, we have a very rigorous performance review process, we believe strongly in training, coaching, and having difficult conversations…

Remember, the hiring panel is not only interviewing you, but you are interviewing them – to see if this job, culture, and environment is a great fit for you.  Otherwise, on to the next opportunity!

Now what if you’ve got the job and you’ve got the toxic culture blues? Not to worry, stay tuned and next time I’ll share the top 3 tips to dramatically improve your culture (even if you aren’t a manager)!

Until Next Time,

Nicole

P.S.  Looking for a new role?  Ruth is offering 3 coaching sessions to a select few volunteers, snag this $500 value before spots are gone! Ruth@whiteboardconsulting.ca/staging 

Sometimes the Flavour of the Month is Chocolate. And It’s Good.

flavour2

If you work for anyone other than yourself, you have probably lived this phrase in some way:

“Ugh – this new initiative is nothing other than the new flavour of the month. It’ll never stick and next year they’ll roll out something else.”

Sound familiar? These words have probably assaulted your ears (or crossed your lips), when the organization is trying with best intentions to make a change or an improvement. The person who is responsible for the change is excited about the initiative, and is frustrated beyond believe with this blasé response from the team.

So why do people say it?

First, a little Change Management theory for you – we know from Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross‘ work that people experience grief in an emotional roller coaster. When Kubler-Ross pioneered the concept of the 5 Stages of Grief, people became aware that grief impacts us all the same way and yet differently too.

In other words, we all go through the stages of Grief (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance), but we may go through them differently. Some may linger in one stage or another, and some may fly through a stage so quickly as to appear to bypass it. The way in which we go through these stages is greatly impacted by our personal resilience, the amount of stress we are dealing with at the moment, and our experiences with grief in the past.

The same is true with change. In fact, Kubler-Ross’ model has been adapted to create the Change Curve, used by Change Management experts, teachers, and coaches. There are several different variations of the curve itself, and we like this one the best:

change curve

You can see the similarity to the 5 Stages of Grief – in this model we have Denial, Anger, Exploration, and Acceptance.

Imagine then, an employee who is not only experiencing change at work, but also at home (spouse has been demoted, child has moved out, parent is ill). This employee, we’ll call him Rob, has been a good worker and has been around for about 15 years. You are Rob’s manager, and very excited about a new program to create a more efficient process for doing the work of Rob and the entire team. When you meet to discuss it, Rob breaks open the “Flavour of the Month” remark, and the team snickers.

This is because Rob has been around for a couple of business cycles. He’s seen change implemented, re-implemented, de-implemented, and implemented again. He’s tired and his resilience is low – he feels that change is a pendulum, and that people should just make up their damn minds and stick with something.

Well, here’s the thing…

The United States’ National Bureau of Economic Research states that since 1945 the average business cycle has been just less than six years. That length of time may also be impacted by your industry, budget issues, technology advancement, and general business trends.

So in other words, every few years the business world changes. And in order to be relevant in that world, an organization must change with it. The change the organization is implementing is probably the right thing, for right now. In a few years it may no longer be the right thing. So yeah. It might well be the flavour of the month, and there’s nothing wrong with that (unless an organization is making change for change’s sake – and that’s a whole different discussion.)

The trick is to implement the “new flavour” carefully, using change management best practices from the outset and communicating the “why and why now” message in the most effective way for the team.

If that’s all done correctly, then the answer to Rob is as easy as, “Yes Rob, it IS the flavour of the month. It’s chocolate. And it’s good.”

Until next time,

Ruth.

 

The Same Only Different

imp vs

Have you ever heard people use terms interchangeably that are really quite different? Does it make you cringe inside?

It’s like nails on a chalkboard when I hear people say “performance management” or “mentoring” when they mean “coaching.” Or when they say they need someone to “facilitate” when they actually mean they need someone to “train.” And one of my favourites: “leading” vs. “managing.”

Another, and the topic of today’s blog, is Innovation vs. Improvement. This mix-up, while seemingly innocuous, can lead to real organizational design issues, confused roles & responsibilities, and broken down processes.

Potato Po-tah-to?

The thing is, these groups of terms aren’t the same at all (although they can be related,) and yet people seem to use them as if they are synonyms. I’m not sure why, although I suspect it has to do with business culture that loves to invent words (incent, for instance), create catch phrases and buzz words (like Dashboard or Viewability), and even completely misuse words (like Key Performance Indicator for every single metric in an organization. Ummm… “Key” means “most important,” not “all encompassing.”)

In our course The Process of Coaching, we spend some time discussing what it means to coach vs. mentor. I hear the two phrases used jointly all the time:

  • “You need some coaching and mentoring.”
  • “Do you have a coach or mentor?”
  • “Let’s set up a coaching/mentoring program.”

The same is true of Innovation and Improvement.

  • “We have a great Innovation and Improvement department.”
  • “What we need to do to at this company is improve and innovate.”
  • “I’m the Innovation/Improvement manager.”

My Dad had a great phrase, and I think it helps here:

“ All crows are blackbirds, but not all blackbirds are crows.”

So all (or almost all) Innovation is Improvement, but not all Improvement is Innovation. The following diagram shows what I mean more clearly:

imp

Why is this important?

Some of you may be thinking, “Oh come on. It’s just semantics.” Well, actually, no. It’s not.

Lets take a look at what makes these terms different:

  • Improvement, or process improvement, refers to looking at how something is done – the steps, roles, and materials used – and making it more effective and efficient (Side note: effective and efficient are two more terms that are often used interchangeably. Effective means doing something with high quality. Efficient means doing something in a way that makes the best use of required resources – either the company’s or the customer’s.) This could be something like boarding planes by zone instead of rows, bankers lines instead of individual lines, or even something simple like improved signage in busy places.
  • Innovation means doing or creating something that is new in order to grow, keep up with competition, or be groundbreaking industry leaders. It can be a new process (for instance, the ability to tap your credit card at many stores), a new product that changes the way we live (smart phones), or a new business model that changes the way we interact with organizations (online shopping). You can see that the new process of paying by tap is also an improvement to how you pay today, whereas online shopping was an entirely new model, never conceived of before. Does it improve things? Some would debate that! But it certainly changes things.

In “Coaching for Improved Work Performance,” Ferdinand Fournies said that the biggest reason for people not doing what they are supposed to do is that they don’t know what they are supposed to do.

Sounds so simple!

If we fail to distinguish between Innovation and Improvement, we fail to be clear in our message of expectations to our employees. Is an Innovation & Improvement team supposed to increase efficiency or lead groundbreaking change? A manager with skills and background that is heavier in one area than another could influence the direction of the team greatly.

In fact, the two goals are different enough that they could be at odds if not managed correctly. Imagine asking for project approval – which one gets higher priority in the budget? Or, think about what would happen if you hired a bunch of Process Improvement experts and asked them to be creative and innovative as well? I would argue these are very different (although not mutually exclusive) skillsets.

If you want both Innovation and Improvement, make sure that the team or teams are clear in what their goals and responsibilities are. And if both Innovation and Improvement are under the accountability of the same person, make sure he or she has a clear and balanced plan for each.

It’s not just semantics. It’s important.

Until next time,

Ruth.

What Gets Measured Gets Done. Or Does It?

measured

It’s an old cliché: “What gets measured gets done.” The origin of the statement is up for debate (click here if you want to geek out a bit on that – some say it goes back to Rheticus in the 1500’s!), and it seems that the original phrase was actually “If you can measure it, you can manage it.”

Regardless of the origin or the wording, the message is clear: measuring something gives you the information you need in order to make sure you actually achieve what you set out to do.

But what does that mean, exactly? How does measuring weight ensure weight loss? How does tracking monthly revenue actually bring in the money?

Two Ways Measurement Leads to Goal Achievement

  1. How often have you heard (or said) “it’s not on my performance objectives, so it’s not a priority for me.” For many people, the simple act of measurement increases motivation to perform. The term “eustress” refers to “good stress,” or the opposite of distress, and captures that healthy response to stress we have when something is attainable, but almost too far out of research. Research shows that the desire to win is heightened when rivalry and time pressure coincide, and the simple act of measuring something sparks that sense of rivalry in many people. Of course that rivalry doesn’t need to be with others, it can be with one’s own self as a sort of “competition” to see whether you can beat a goal. Without a measure, there is no way to determine whether you have won, and therefore, less motivation to get something done.
  2. There’s a small matter of accountability. When we set goals and measure performance against that goal we have the ability to hold ourselves (and others) accountable for the resulting success or failure. We actually have concrete data that shows us what we did or didn’t do, what the impact was, and what we need to do differently. Without accountability we can’t coach people towards success and growth, and we have a heck of a time meeting our overall targets.

So is that all we have to do? Measure something and it will magically happen?

Of course not. In addition to things like  project planning, project management, and change management, there is this little matter of measuring the right things.

Business Intelligence, Not Barfing Numbers on a Page

Have you ever been the recipient of an Excel spreadsheet that is masquerading as a report of some kind? Columns and rows of data and boxes and percentages and bolded numbers and you have no idea where to look? Unless you are really familiar with the information, you’re probably going to file that report in some never-to-be-looked at folder in your inbox. Sadly, you won’t be able to refer to it later and sound super smart either.

There are a few things that you can do to make your reports interesting, helpful, and meaningful. If you are someone who is responsible for business analytics, consider the following:

  1. Understand the difference between a measure and a metric.
    • A measure is one quantitative number that counts something. e.g. We made $100,000 profit last quarter.
    • A metric gives you more information because it compares the measure to some other baseline. e.g. We made $100,000 profit last quarter, $50,000 more than the same quarter last year.
  2. Understand the difference between an Outcome metric and a Performance metric.
    • An outcome metric tells you the result of something. It’s a “lag measure,” because once you have the measure it’s done. Over. Too late to do anything with. e.g. We made $100,000 profit last quarter, $50,000 more than the same quarter last year.
    • A performance metric tells you how well the activities are performing that have been determined as the most likely to positively impact the outcome. These are “lead measures,” because they are driving the outcome in advance of the measurement of that outcome. e.g. For the last three weeks we have averaged 10 sales calls per week, which is above our target of 8 sales calls per week.
  3. Figure out what you want to know before you start measuring things. Often times reports are a dumping ground for all the data that’s available, whether it’s useful or not. These types of reports do NOT contain the motivational metrics and measures that create eustress and increase performance.
  4. Design your report to tell a story. Once the right data is measured and collected, the report should contain eye-catching information to lead the reader to the most important points. Make it visual, interesting, and helpful, and you will become the “go-to person” for people who want to know what’s going on.

We are teaching a course in Toronto on the basics of Performance Measurement. It’s a two-day course on May 26th and May 27th, and if you’re interested in knowing more about how to move your organization towards one of data-based decision-making, then click here and register today.

Until next time,

Ruth.

3 Leadership skills I learned from Joan Rivers

Love her or hate her, Joan Rivers represents more than cringe-worthy celebrity fashion bashing and plastic surgery.  She was part of my childhood growing up. I would nervously glance over at my Macedonian Nana, watching Joan’s latest antics, her mouth and eyes wide with shock, waiting for her to become wildly upset. Suddenly she would burst into infectious laughter and I’d be relieved we wouldn’t have the change the channel.

In recent years, Joan fed my insatiable hunger for celebrity gossip, either providing it herself, or providing me great scathing material to copy so I could provide hilarious fashion commentary for my friends when out for drinks.

joan 2

Despite an image that often resonated more with plastic surgery or her latest offensive comment, she somehow managed to forge a role in women’s leadership. Let’s look beyond her shameless obsession with looks and see that she did in fact serve as a role model and inspiration for women, overcoming blatant sexism to rise up as one of America’s first female standup comics.

3 Leadership Skills I learned from Joan Rivers…

1. Say it like it is.

Joan sure did not have the “nice filter” that we in business have seemed to grasp on to.    A good leader has the ability to not only provide the right recognition and rewards when necessary, but can also provide great critical feedback.  DISCLAIMER: I am NOT suggesting that we use sarcasm, teasing, and ridicule to provide feedback to our teams.  In fact, it was that razor sharp tongue that created a 3 decade long dispute with the Tonight Show – we don’t want that at work. No thank you. What we can do is channel a bit of that blunt, “say it like it is” attitude to just SAY what we need to say. Even if it is hard, or we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.

2. Be humble.

Joan’s humour was often self deprecating.  The greatest leader’s and bosses have the ability to recognize their strengths and weaknesses, and rather than fear their weaknesses and hide them, be okay with who their are.  Let’s be honest here. I’ve been using self deprecating humour since birth. But as a leader, sometimes I had this fear that if I showed my team that I wasn’t perfect they wouldn’t respect me. Not necessarily true. Demonstrate a humble attitude that tells the team: “I can’t do it all I need your help.” It is this kind of attitude that brings a group of individuals to works together with you as their boss to become and interdependent team -one that achieves more than every individual could do on their own.

3. Be Funny.

Work is serious. Your job is serious.  Issues at work are serious.  But, it’s okay to laugh.  It’s okay to make things light and fun, and to be serious when appropriate.  Again, I cannot profess that Joan taught me how to be funny (I was already incredibly hilareous). But her passing reminds us to share some laughs with our teams in her memory.

To conclude. I am hilarious, but also very humble, and when I channel my inner Joan, I can also tell people what I need to tell them without fear of hurting their feelings.

I’ve learned from my dealings with Johnny Carson that no matter what kind of friendship you think you have with people you’re working with, when the chips are down, it’s all about business. – Joan Rivers

Tell us about your inner Joan @whiteboardcons, #JoanRivers.

Until Next Time,

Nicole

 

How an Extrovert Became Introverted

How an Extrovert Became Introverted

I’m having an identity crisis. After years of being the world’s biggest extrovert (to quote one of my friends, who I do not believe was attesting to my outstanding theatrical ability , “…the most dramatic person I’ve ever met.”), I think I’ve become an introvert. Here’s the kicker.  I’m strangely not upset about it, given my historic distaste for those weird quiet folk. I might be actually sighing in relief and embracing my new me.

Our training curriculum on leadership, communication, relationship building, change management, and coaching focuses a great deal on both self-awareness and diagnosis of the personality and communications styles of our teams, peers, and colleagues.  To better how to understand others we must better understand ourselves (click to tweet). With this recent revelation on my newfound introversion, I am suddenly in a place to re-discover and understand my new self. After years of being horrified at the reserved, quiet, and thoughtful personas of my introvert friends because I couldn’t understand them, I suddenly have to be one. And maybe rather than my standard self-loathing/self-deprecating comedy routine, I can instead learn to leverage those introverted characteristics that I once loathed.

Extroverts have long been touted as great leaders, and in fact many introverts have adopted extrovert traits to better fit in to the traditional mold of extrovert-leaders. A plethora of management material focuses on how extroverts can better deal with introverts or how introverts can be more like extroverts.  But maybe just like me, the times are changing and we can embrace and leverage our quiet and thoughtful allies more strategically. introvert-vs-extrovert

Let’s Review: Introverts Vs. Extroverts

Extroverts

  • Outgoing
  • talkative
  • energetic
  • assertive
  • likes to lead
  • prefers group activities
  • derives energy from other people

Introverts

  • reserved
  • derives energy from solitary behaviour
  • enjoys activities alone or one-on-one (rather than in groups)
  • analytical/detail oriented
  • observe before participating/speaking
  • thoughtful
  • make up a smaller amount of the population
  • enjoy working independently

Managing the “others”

Exploit the Extroverts

  1. Let them lead.  As a former extrovert, please let us take the lead on something.  Please let us interact with ALL the people. Even if you cannot trust us to be the boss of everything, give us SOMETHING to manage.  Give us the OK to assert ourselves, burst with energetic excitement, and try not to drive everyone else nuts.
  2. Leverage their social credits.  Extroverts love to network – so let them.  Let them handle luncheons, breakfast networking meetings, boat cruises and so on and so forth. Then, go back to #1.

Invigorate the Introverts

  1. Let them think.  Let the early talkers talk. Let the opinions be heard.  And then invite the thoughtful response of the introvert be heard, when they are ready. Don’t assume just because they haven’t said anything yet, that there isn’t something brilliant lingering in there.
  2. Let them recharge.  Let them have time to re-coup and re-energize – alone.  Then, they are ready to go back to #1 and think some more.

Back to Me.

So what happened to me?  To be fair, there is still a great deal of extrovert lurking there within me.  Introversion and extroversion aren’t categorical, they are on a continuum.  Maybe I’m just visiting the introvert side for a bit?  Some theories suggest that introversion tends to express itself more as we age (like wrinkles and grey hair weren’t enough to worry about).  Others suggest that our needs at a certain time in our lives dictate our expression of these personality traits.  This makes sense, after 10 years of doing alot of independent desk work, I’m suddenly facilitating, teaching, selling, and networking 24/7 .  Previously I derived my energy from social activities. And now I derive energy from a day-ful of teaching, but need a Netflix marathon or four hours of obsessive reading of a certain Scottish Historical Fiction Saga in order to recharge.

After years of interrupting you to tell you about my story, I’m much happier listening to yours and silently judging you (JUST KIDDING!). Maybe I’m old. Maybe I’m tired. Maybe I’m “on” at work and need to be “off” the rest of the time.  Whatever the cause, I’m embracing the new me.  And embracing all those creepy quiet introverts I interuppted for the last 34 years. Sorry guys. I get you now. Want to share your introvert/extrovert transformation?  Talk to us on Twitter @whiteboardcons using the hashtag #introvertsarethenewextroverts #exploittheextroverts or #invigoratetheintroverts.

Until next time,

Nicole

When To Be a Bitch at Work

Ruth and I spend a significant amount of time teaching our clients and training participants to be kind and curious, ask open ended questions, reduce assumptions and judgements, and basically be the most lovely manager your team has ever had.  I’ve laid out a broad sweeping generalization in our blog before – coaching is everything. But I take it back. Coaching is ALMOST everything.  The final key to the mysteries of management is just saying what needs to be said – in the right way and at the right time.

While coaching might be 90% of the solution, the other 10% is delivering firm and clear messages that get results. Interestingly enough, it is often that behaviour that makes many women leaders “the bitch” and their male counterparts “assertive and determined”.  But that’s a whole other topic for our Women and Leadership Series – in today’s blog – I’m talking about being assertive and clear and not trying NOT to be a bitch by softening the message.

bubbles

Which comes first the coaching or the bitch?

Well it depends on the situation and the person of course! One of our favourite leadership theories, and one that resonates well with our clients, is Situational Leadership.  At its core, it trains leaders to effectively diagnose the needs of an individual or a team and then use the appropriate leadership style to respond to the needs – based on two communication styles: Task oriented and relationship oriented styles.

This means that each individual and situation needs to be diagnosed appropriately.  There is a time to use coaching for:

  • selling –> How might this benefit you?  What would make you want to do this? Tell me what is working well for you?
  • discovering –> Help me understand what happened? Tell me more? Tell me about a time you have you done this in the past?
  • problem solving –> What is the impact of your decision? How might you approach this? Who needs to be involved?

And there is ALSO a time, for more directive language. Directive language, or more simply, direct, assertive, to-the-point language, is often deemed negative and insulting to the recipient.  Our Canadian (and British influenced) culture, in fact, does a particularly bad job of being direct. We are much more likely to soften the message with the sandwich approach (good feedback, bad feedback, good feedback) or softening our message with words like “occasionally” or “maybe” or perhaps. It is this weakening of messages that causes confusion in employees.  They are unable to discern between the message and the words.

So when can you just say it?

3 Situations When You Can (and should be) Be a Bitch.

  1. Urgency (when time is of the essence) –> I need you to contact the following people by end of day to resolve this customer service issue before it becomes a bigger problem.
  2. Lack of skill or experience–> First you will contact the suppliers, then you will generate the purchase orders, and finally you will order the parts – that is the process I need you to follow.
  3. Resistance to  previous coaching –> We have talked about the impact of your tardiness at the last 3 meetings. You are required to be at work at 8:30.  Another incident of tardiness will be noted in your file.

The coaching drives engagement, but it is the direction (when appropriate) that drives results. Your ability to be the bitch at the right time and in the right way, will make both you and your team a success.  Discover the magical balance between coaching and direction to become both a loved AND respected manager (Click to Tweet!).

Tell us your stories about your results @whiteboardcons!

Until next time,

Nicole

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