Monthly Archive: November 2017

Peter is Perfect. Does He Still Need Feedback?

Season Two, Episode Five. Podcast recap! (And if you missed the podcast, you can find it here.)

Podcast Recap: Season 2, Episode 5

Peter has come a long way. He’s taken your excellent feedback, worked hard to improve, and consistently meets and exceeds your expectations. In fact, you might go so far as to say he’s your “perfect” employee.

Thank goodness, because now you don’t have to give him feedback anymore and you can save all that time.

Right?

Wrong.

Star Employees Need Feedback Too

There’s not much that is more deflating to a high performer than suddenly feeling invisible or under valued. Sadly, this happens frequently – we reward our star performers with, what??? MORE WORK! We know they will do it and do it well, and then are surprised when they slip back into old habits or appear disengaged.

The truth is that ALL employees need feedback, even when you can’t find anything to criticize or improve. Why? Because feedback doesn’t have to be negative or constructive (and if that’s the way you view it, we encourage you to change that opinion).

Positive feedback, thoughtfully given and sensitively presented is ALWAYS A GOOD THING.

Three Things to Consider

Here are three common scenarios in which you might struggle to find the right kind of feedback to give to someone:

  1. The Over Achiever. This is the person who just wants more. All the time. They want more work, more challenges, and want to get better and better. They are the person sitting in your office BEGGING for feedback, and you’ve run out of things to tell them.
    • What to do? Consider asking them to rate themselves on a scale of 1 to 10. Chances are they will NOT give themselves a 10 (because overachievers always want to improve). Regardless of how they rate themselves, you can ask them these questions, and let them come up with their own feedback!
      • What are the positive things that contributed to this rating?
      • What do you think you need to do to move the needle higher?
  2. The Practically Perfect Person. Ah, Perfect Peter. He is solid, reliable, has achieved all the goals you have worked on together, is happy with the feedback he gets (and you know this because he told you, not because you assumed), and is just the kind of person everyone wants on their team. So what kind of feedback can you continue to provide? Well, maybe at this point it’s time to switch from feedback to a goals discussion. Perhaps he really is a 10, and now you need to move the needle. Consider setting professional and global goals (global goals are skills that are easily transferrable and often required to “move up” the career ladder or shift to a different role, e.g. presentation skills, facilitation skills, networking) and creating a new set of objectives on which you can give feedback.
    • What would you like to do next? What skills are needed to achieve that?
    • How can you share your skills with others? Are you interested in mentoring someone or allowing someone to job shadow you? Would you like to give a presentation?
  3. The Average Joe. This is your average, reliable, normal person, who requires a combination of positive feedback and recognition in order to remain engaged. Oh and guess what, positive feedback and recognition, while related, are not the same!
    • Positive Feedback is giving specific details on how a person performed and how that performance impacted the team, the organization, you, or any other entity. Use ASBI to deliver that positive feedback in a meaningful way!
    • Recognition thanks someone for their efforts and gives visible reward for their efforts. Remember that recognition does not mean the same thing to everyone – in fact it can go horribly wrong if you assume people like to be recognized the same way you do. The best tip? Ask the person!

Remember – employee engagement has been proven to directly impact an organization’s results. Don’t save your feedback discussions for times of trouble or assume that your team members are all happy and don’t need your positive feedback or recognition.

Take the time to find the positive things to reinforce and inspire the behaviour you want on your team. Then think about how best to deliver it, and take purposeful action to get it done.

Honestly it takes 5 minutes. And it lasts a lifetime.

Until next time,

Ruth.

Peter is Crying. What Do You Do?

Season Two, Episode Four. Podcast recap! (And if you missed the podcast, you can find it here.)

Podcast Recap: Season 2, Episode 4

Remember our poor imaginary employee Peter? Well, today we want you to imagine that he is now standing in front of you, in your office, weeping. He is distraught, using up your kleenex, and looking at you not know what to say or how to say it, and yet imploring you to help.

I guarantee that if you manage or supervise people, this has happened to you, or will happen to you some day, and you need to know what to do and how to handle the situation.

Shouldn’t Peter Leave His Troubles At Home?

Maybe 30 or more years ago, sure. Back then it was NOT ok to bring your troubles at work – you were expected to be a “big boy” or “big girl,” and “leave it at the door.”

Well, that’s not the case anymore. Now it is acceptable to “bring your whole self to work” and be who you are. If that’s not enough of a reason to hear Peter out, then here are three more reasons why you should make sure you know what to do if someone comes to you stressed out and/or emotional about something that has nothing to do with work:

  1. At the minimum, Peter will not perform well for you if something is causing him to become emotional in the workplace. And guess what – you are responsible for the performance of your team.
  2. You have a legal obligation, at least in Ontario and in many other places, to ensure that your employees are safe from bullying and harrassment, and this includes understanding whether there is an issue with domestic violence that could come to work. (See Bill 168 here.)
  3. It’s the right thing to do. As a human being it is appropriate to find out what is troubling this person and to make sure that they get the help and support they need. Note that this does NOT mean that you have to be their therapist!

OK, So What Do I Do Other Than Have Kleenex Ready?

Having an emotional person in your office is not unlike having an angry person, which we talked about a couple of episodes ago (read the blog recap here). It’s important to listen and convey understanding and empathy so that you can diffuse the emotion and get to the point where you can discuss what needs to happen. The LESTER tool works great for this!

  • Listen. Don’t talk. Just listen.
  • Echo. Repeat back what Peter said so you can confirm you know exactly what he’s upset about.
  • Sympathize/Empathize. Let Peter know you know how awful this must be for him, and then move on to the next step. The danger here is to start swapping stories of when it happened to you. Suddenly you become like a therapist to Peter, and he’s in your office every day, and nothing is getting resolved.
  • Thank. Tell Peter you’re glad he came to you.
  • Evaluate. Consider some solutions to help. This is important: avoid saying, “What can I do to help?” This can result in Peter dumping things on you with great relief. Instead, ask “What needs to happen to help you through this?” Now Peter can own at least some of the responsibility of solving his own issues. (Note that depending on the issue you may want to check in with your HR department and let them know what’s going on, and just make sure you’ve done everything you should. They can be an excellent resource for you.)
  • Resolve. Confirm the plan, follow up, and check in.

The key here is to ensure Peter is getting the help he needs, not let up on holding him (and yourself) accountable for any action steps, and for following up.

What if Peter’s Performance Doesn’t Improve, Even With My Help?

Well, the reality is that you are not Peter’s therapist, and you ARE responsible for your team’s performance.

If you have done everything you can think of to help Peter, and he is still not improving, then you will need to have a performance discussion. Here is where the ASBI tool will help you structure your conversation to be clear and direct:

  • Ask for permission to have a discussion.
  • Describe the situation.
  • Describe the behaviour.
  • Describe the impact.

This gives Peter the chance to understand that his performance is the issue (not his emotional concerns), and discuss how he can improve it.

If he STILL isn’t improving? Well, now you’re into a formal performance management conversation. Now is the time, if you haven’t already, to call HR and check your organizational policy on this. (If you don’t have an HR department, then check your company’s policy on this. Does Peter need time off?)

Remember, that helping Peter doesn’t mean you have to become a therapist. It means you have to be kind and curious, help Peter get the help he needs, and ensure that your team or organization’s performance isn’t jeopardized in the meantime.

Seek the Happy Path, always. You may end up on the “Almost Happy Path,” and that’s ok too. Just avoid the “Well Intended But Unhappy Path.” That is an energy drainer and doesn’t help anyone in the long run.

Give these tips a try, let us know how it went on Twitter at @whiteboardcons and check out the rest of our podcast series on our homepage at www.whiteboardconsulting.ca.

Until next time,

Ruth.

How to Tell Peter He Smells

Season Two, Episode Three. Podcast recap! (And if you missed the podcast, click here.)

AWK-WARD….

Phil Collins, in case you’re too young to know who this is. Also click here to listen to SUSSUDIO.

This season on the podcast we’ve been focusing on awkward/difficult/uncomfortable conversations and helping everyone to get over their fears and just DO IT.  Now I believe that all difficult conversations are to some extent awkward, otherwise they’d just be conversations.

In case you don’t have time to listen to Ruth and my hilarious banter about body odour and low cut tops, this blog will give you three quick tips to having a conversation about a super uncomfortable topic.

(But you should listen, because otherwise the Phil Collins reference makes no sense.)

What Kinds of Conversations are we Talking About Here?

We’re talking about uncomfortable conversations like:

  • body odour,
  • bad breath,
  • food odours, or
  • work attire.

And to some, these might be no more difficult or awkward than not getting a promotion, not getting a pay raise, or just giving feedback.

Some of these are most difficult because they are subjective….what is “bad” body odour, what food smells “bad” versus not bad, what constitutes “appropriate” work attire.  They are also difficult because they are personal – it’s happening to your body, it’s on your body, or you’re putting it in your body. The reactions to this type of feedback can sometimes be more emotional and defensive and that can make having these types of conversations that much scarier.

3 Tips for Having Awkward Conversations

1. Prepare & Map it Out

We talked about this last on the podcast, but I’m going to add it here.  Do some prep work with your HR department, your corporate policies, or the good old interwebs.  Check out what current policies and labour laws are for the item you are approaching your colleague about.

Create a process map or decision tree of your conversation.  This helps you plan for reactions that you aren’t prepared for.  What if the recipient denies that they actually smell? What if the recipient bursts into tears? What if they get angry and walk out of the room? So your conversation process map might be as simple as this:

Opening: I have something awkward to tell you involving body odour.

Response:

  1. No I don’t smell.  You have no idea what you are talking about.
  2. OMG, really? I had no idea?
  3. Crying/Leave room/Somehow end conversation

Responses:

  1. Here’s what I’ve observed, others have described. Here are the impacts to the team/me/others.  What are your thoughts?
  2.  Same as above
  3.  Reschedule meeting and try again

And you can keep going down the line, what are possible responses to those….and what are your responses.

2.  Open Well

One of the greatest openings for this type of conversation is just laying it out there. “This is going to be a difficult conversation”.  This is such a lifesaver.  It sets the other person up to prepare for something awkward. It gives you, as the conversation leader a little bit of a pass on being “perfect”.  It eliminates the need for any pleasantries or diverting from the topic.  It prevents you from starting with distracting comments like “We know you are really great, we love your work, how was your weekend…..”.  You can move right to the meat of the conversation.

3. Follow-Up

Once it is over, make sure that you check in after this tough conversation and see how it is going.  Is the behaviour changing? Is it staying the same? Why?  You might need to have a second (or third or fourth) conversation before the impact really sinks in.

Awkward conversations are hard. With planning and practice they can become less difficult for everyone involved.

Give these tips a try, let us know how it went on Twitter at @whiteboardcons and check out the rest of our podcast series on our homepage at www.whiteboardconsulting.ca.

Until Next Time,

Nicole